2019...

Strange… another year is about to end. 12 months doesn’t seem like such a short time nor does it seem like a long one.

I skipped last year and not because I didn’t have anything to write about. In fact, I did, I went to one of my dream countries, after all. Even got to spent almost half a year in there! I just didn’t feel like writing anything. However, this year I do feel like doing so!!!

Each year I like to retrace my memory lane. To see what I did, what I have learned, got to experience and how much I took from that year. I hate the feeling of being useless and worthless. I hate the feeling of thinking that I haven’t accomplished / done anything throughout the year. That is the main reason why I tend to recall my year. Recalling all the positive and negative things and setting future goals are the only things that keep me moving forward. Positive things give me happiness. Negative episodes educate me by giving me experience, strength and power.

Darkness is not a thing that I tend to talk about. To be fair, I do not like being in that dark place. Nothing good ever comes out of it. That’s why I fight, I fight with myself by brainstorming and coming up with plans or ideas that would help me get out of that darkness. No one likes being in that place so each and every one of us come up with methods that help us get out of it. I just do not like staying in that state for even a day… I am a person which is driven by goals and thoughts. So, for next year, I have two goals that I want to accomplish, and I will do everything in my power to accomplish them both:

•  Getting Drivers Lessons 
• Going back to Korea for holidays

When I think of what kind of a year 2019 was for me. In the middle of October, I thought that I haven’t done anything special… and yes, I haven’t done much for at least 4 months of those 12^th months. Just going to lectures, going back home, eating and gaining weight - A TOTAL PROCRASTINATION!!! EWWW GROSS AND TOTALLY USELESS. It was “Hello Darkness my Old Friend” period, I still have it at times, just like all of us. I am not as bright and bubbly as some people think I am. I just tend to find ways to lift my mood up. For example, watching some funny and short videos online, that always helps. To tell you the truth, I personally think that the best problem cure is busy lifestyle. Indulge yourself in work and you won’t have time to think of problems. Enjoy present moments. Warning, it might not work for everyone, but it does for me so beat it.

For the rest of those 8 months, I think I did alright. January and February probably were the most productive months of the year but who cares. During this year I managed to finally go on a short Baltic State trip, to Riga (Latvia) and Tallinn (Estonia). I finally visited London (England)! Had a LASIK surgery, which was a huge step for me. Thanks to it, I started seeing as a normal human being. You have no idea how amazing it is waking up and seeing your ceilings in HD. Scratch that, everything in HD!!! So yeah, that happened and then me going to Turkey two times in a span of just a half a year was pretty bizarre. I loved it though. During my first trip there, I got to see several friends for the first time in 2 years and got to travel around a bit, saw amazing places and how diverse Turkey is! During my second stay, lot of amazing things happened. I made amazing memories and already covered a part of thing in my Erzurum blog. Joke's on me, I already am planning to go back to Turkey some time, next year or at least a year after that and I have a city in mind. 

I will be coming back to the country until I see almost all of it. That is a promise, not to all of you but to me from myself. But WAIT, most importantly, this year, I graduated. This episode wasn’t as pleasing and will never be, but I wouldn’t change it for anything. 

There is no point in regretting your decisions when you have an entire eternity to learn from it, fix it or just move on from it. Everything happens for a reason, there is no point in looking for evidence or possibilities. That what makes this life interesting and unique.

To end this crappy blog post, I would like to say, that I did more than a few things, so I am more than satisfied with this year. I met amazing people. I experienced amazing things. I saw amazing things and there is nothing that I would like to change. This year still hasn’t ended, I might get surprises presented to me in those remaining weeks. We will see!

And for the final closure. Have wonderful holidays and Happy upcoming New Year!!!