2017...

I’m starting a blog on the very last day of 2017, crazy right? But I think it’s a perfect way to welcome New Year... New life. First thing first, I’m not going to be an active blogger. I will only show myself whenever I’m craving to write something, that’s how it goes in my book.

Shall we start? It’s 2017.12.31 9:07 PM as I’m writing my very first blog. Meaning there are 3 hours left until Lithuania welcomes New Year. It sure is crazy how fast time flies… And yet it’s time to say Goodbye to this year and Greet a New one… This year was full of everything; from happiness, depression, changes, sorrow, new relations, etc.

If I would need to describe 2017 with only couple of words, then without a doubt I would go with ‘A HUGE MESS’.. It was one of the BEST and WORST years in my life so far. Start of the year was a depression period for me. I never had depressions before, at least not as huge one as that one. For a moment I forgot how to smile and laugh. I did understand what was wrong but no matter how much I tried to overcome it, I failed. I didn’t know what to do anymore, so I decided to ignore it and let it pass naturally; pretending that everything is fine. Broadly speaking, just like I always do. However, thanks to one friend of mine, I manage to over come it.  Even though our friendship has ended, I will always be Thankful towards her. I learned a lot and created lots of nice and meaningful memories. Due to her, I also met amazing people and managed to create an amazing friendship bond with some of them. So, all I want to say to you is THANK YOU! Thank you for showing up in my life! Without you, I wouldn’t be me, the person who I am now.

This year I have lost a lot of people whom I kept close but with each one of them leaving, I learned to let them go easier… Day by day, letting loved ones go became not as difficult as it once was. People come and go. Those who left will be replaced my new ones… Let’s not forget that life goes on. Let’s not live in the past and let’s enjoy the present. Don’t drown in sorrow just because you failed one time, get back on your feet and move further. Never regret your decisions because they were meant to be like that, don’t blame yourself for anything, because things were supposed to happen like this. Everything has its own reason for its existence and don’t blame yourself for anything because you can’t be blamed for things that you can’t prevent from happening.  

No matter how bad a situation is, mindset is the most important. Bad things are fallowed by good things. In 2017 I managed to accomplish couple of my ultimate life goals. It might not be impressive to some but for me, it is huge. I went to Prague, Czech Republic, it was one of my dream cities of Europe. I still can’t believe that I went there. Traveling alone was also one of the things that I wanted to try, and I managed to accomplish that! And to tell you the truth, I loved it! Now I don’t think I’m up for traveling with some company. Ultimate freedom, random people that you meet in hostels or streets, it is an amazing feeling. However, whenever I told people that I’m going alone and with a bus, they called me crazy and asked me things such as, ‘You’re not afraid?’, ‘You’re not scared?’. Thinking about it now, those thoughts have never crossed my mind, not even once. I made count downs and on D-day, I took my leave. Leaving all the heavy tension behind me. Meanwhile, before my departure, I had one more duty to complete. That was, write and submit motivation later for Student Exchange Program in hopes of finally get it. Thus, after submitting it, I finally left Lithuania for exactly 5 days. It was wonderful!

Kaunas – Warsaw – Prague – Warsaw – Kaunas, it was my route. 6 hours from Kaunas to Warsaw; 10 hours from Warsaw to Prague and vice versa. I went there not to be a tourist which is desperate to visit museums, tourist attractive places, take loads of photos with every single object they see. It was my holidays, I went there to spend time on my own. I like to be by myself at times; run away from people; all the commotions; not talking to anyone; just ‘me, myself and I’ time. I walked a lot, took stops whenever I wanted, no music, no talking, no precise destination. I tried to take a lot of photos, I did but at some point, I gave up, I just wanted to enjoy those moment. Keep it to myself; cherish it only in my memory. In addition, camera lens cannot convey exact images that you see with your own eyes; it cannot convey exact feelings. Sitting on a cliff for couple of hours, watching life from above, taking deep freedom and tranquility breaths… I realized that we should stop being such busy bees. We should occasionally take a stop and take a deep breath. Look at our surroundings, smile glancing at the clear sky; warm images from passersby… Life is not as difficult as we make it be.

Anyways, you guys recall when I mentioned Student Exchange program? Well guess what? I made it, soon after I came back from my healing holidays, I got email informing me that I was accepted into second round. I was so damn happy!!! You know the feeling of accomplishing something that you always dreamed of? That was it!!! And when I passed the second round!!! I couldn’t stop smiling for a week!!! I thought, we don’t need a lot to be happy, just a small ray of happiness is all we need to paint our grumpy faces with brightness. Moreover, what surprised me the most were people. Especially those, whom I always had besides me but maybe never paid much attention to! They were genuinely happy for me; they silently believed in me, even at the moments when I couldn’t believe myself. It took me aback, made me ponder over such words as, ‘friend’ and ‘friendship’. This world is full of fake people. It’s okay, it’s entertaining to have all kind of people surrounding us. We take and learn from each and every one of them. People are the ones who are making us stronger.

2017 was full of everything. A lot of new experiences, adventures and misfortune. I had the best year so far. Sure, I lost couple of friends, but I gained new ones, whom I’m thankful for their appearance. Thank you everyone, my old and new friends; those, who I got to meet maybe once or those whom I know but didn’t pay much attention to over the past years. Thank you for making 2017 such a meaningful year me! Thank you for teaching me things! Thank you for making me realize a lot of things! Thank you for letting me develop myself! THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!2017…

Until next time!!!!